Solving the Problem

Well, as I went up Gladys Mazibuko Road and turned left into Problem Mkhize, it brought to mind the recent debacles/discourses/rampant fist fights, about the changing of street names to honour South African heroes from the struggle times. I can just imagine our beloved Ghandi is not completely content about Point Road taking his name, but I think perhaps Problem Mkhize is a real thorn in the side of the Cowey Road residents. Not that Problem doesn’t suit the road, congestion at the intersection is stressful on a cool day let alone at 33 degrees. I’ve heard it’s difficult to sell a property there as a business owner, even if he doesn’t have problems walking under ladders or spilling salt, may not want to take a chance on having Problem Mkize road on his gold lettered letter-heads. While I waited for the traffic to move I imagined opening a bistro and calling it, Calais Bistro on Problem. Dining there might be a challenge for fine diners: would you have a finger nail in your tarte tatin or half digested garden sand in your snails? You can’t blame restaurateurs for setting up shop in one of those tiny lanes unworthy of any great hero; Bistro on 9^th Avenue, now we’re talking.

The problems I have with the name changes are, that I can’t pronounce them, they aren’t in my map books, and that the people who should know about these struggle heroes don’t know them at all. And the old familiar road signs have been ripped off their posts by the municipality, because irritated/irate/red-in-the-face, white dads standing on kitchen stools, sprayed the new signs with black paint, thus annoying the city managers (now consider that a spiteful slap on the wrist, boet).

You must understand I have an incredibly bad sense of direction. I get lost in supermarkets and whenever I visit Pinetown I end up in a taxi rank (I mean every time). So finding myself in Stalwart Simelane Street, when the original sign is gone (no more Stanger street), or being told to go to Dr Pixley KaSeme Street sends me into a panic attack of note. For all the saints, Dr Pixley KaSeme Street used to be WEST STREET. So if you don’t have a Global Positioning System in your car, or like my daughter has, in your head, then negotiating Durban is interesting and you discover places you didn’t know existed, especially if you add in the unsynchronised traffic lights and pot holes you could drown in.

Durban may be going to seed (the jury is still out on this I feel), but it’s painted in all the colours of the spectrum, with dashes of honour and sprinklings of brilliance and buckets of people and things that don’t work, and it has hours of horror and moments of heroic gutsy action and the people all glisten in this Durban steam, especially when Eskom has “met with a problem”. Ah yes, you surely need a sense of humour and great big balls to stay here.

p.s.: I thought I’d add, East Coast Radio lists Ally Cat Clothing as one of the top ten factory shops in Durban. It’s at 260 Magwaza Maphalala Street. Look it up ‘cause I have a problem.

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality.

Wake up and live...Bob Marley